Confession of an introvert: I really don’t love posting all the details of my life on the internet, but at the same time, I’ve not really got anything to hide. I just like my alone time.
I was really hoping to manage a walk with Cindy this morning and then just chill for the rest of the day, but I woke up sneezing and had some alarmingly forceful sneezes with the morning pollen count that made me nervous I might fall if struck with that kind of attack while walking. I texted Cindy my condition, and she reported the same frustration with the microscopic death star attack.
So instead of walking in the morning, I did some mundane things – picked up expensive prescriptions, purchased minimal food with my meager leftover cash, and read a couple chapters of a biography on Erasmus. Once the sun and the yellow dust settled, I did manage a walk along the river, and I enjoyed the time to myself. In my few outings, I managed to see nearly a dozen friendly faces, and I remembered how much I enjoyed being a background character in someone else’s life when I was in college.
Actually, I hated it, but I’m nostalgic for the time when I could go by unnoticed.
A couple times earlier this week, Cindy walked with me on campus during my prep periods. I sat down to applause from students in the windows and had dozens of kids congratulate me on my impressive steps without my braces or sticks and just holding one of Cindy’s hands. I really love the encouragement; it means a lot to have students cheer me on. At the same time, it’s exhausting to be in the spotlight with every step, and I have to be honest about the tension between receiving the applause and knowing it means people are watching me. On one hand, the work I have to do in my recovery is exhausting regardless, and I want the recognition that people are celebrating alongside me; on the other hand, I wish I could just fade into the background and focus on my students.
I am always excited to share my progress here, so I hope you’ll hear and rejoice with me about the impressive walks I’ve had this week despite the simultaneous desire I have to hide in my quiet cave and just enjoy some student made cheesecake.
