I had a young adult call me in tears this week lamenting that she couldn’t tell the difference between the Holy Spirit and her mental illness. After about an hour of her providing context for her latest crush and the statement she was confused about, I was able to provide some pretty clear guidance to determine that it was her anxiety. Both of us still strongly believe the Holy Spirit speaks actively and that we should listen carefully though. I have lots of conversations with young people about how to hear the Holy Spirit in our lives, and honestly I have those conversations with old people too. We’re all still learning, and there are some handholds along the way.
While I’m not one to promote empty ritual, I treasure the words of Dr. Koivisto repeating, “The only bad tradition is bad tradition.” Traditions can be good when representing faithful obedience. Or in the words of a Eugene Peterson title, a long obedience in the same direction. This week I spent some time crying out to God for some direction, and I had a nudge back to the faithful practices. I opened up to Romans 5 because one of my former students has recently asked me to record myself reading Romans chapter by chapter to text him, and I was struck by the profound insights waiting for me once I returned after finishing chapter four. I’m actually super pumped to spend some time unpacking the tight ten verses at the start of that chapter over the coming months. I’ll still carry on with reading the rest of the book, but I’ll soak in those encouragements of hope not putting me to shame.
I have great hope for this girl who called me taking next steps in conversation with her crush not because I think the Holy Spirit has specially blessed this infatuation but because I know she’s got character developed through perseverance that was sparked by some real suffering in her life. I have hope that will not disappoint because I know she’s actively seeking God in her life and will not have her whole future spiral on a whim related to a cute boy.
I also recognise a key distinction that her hope and mine is firmly placed in Jesus Christ. Last Sunday Phil used an illustration of your faith only being as good as the object you put it in – you can cautiously ice skate on a solid lake or recklessly crash through a thin sheet of ice. Your hope is similar, and when Paul lays out that process of developing hope, he starts and ends with Jesus. Jesus is the one who does not disappoint – and he’s the one who showed up at the right time according to Romans 5. I’m telling you, there’s a lot for me to unpack in there, and I’ve got such hope for what God will speak to me and through me in the coming months with these verses.
Several months ago I mentioned some frustrations with getting the botox treatment I’d regularly received in Switzerland, and I haven’t kept up online complaints about it, but the symptoms have been increasingly difficult to deal with. I’m happy to report that I have a treatment date in a month’s time, but I’m still here in the middle, the waiting period, where I hope for the resolution to come. I wasted a good portion of my young adulthood looking ahead to what life would be like when I achieved whatever came next, and I still struggle with that at times, but I’m actually looking for what God can develop in me in this waiting season. I’ll certainly have an improved quality of life when the botox kicks in or when I’m miraculously healed and can walk and dance again, but I also have a whole lot of good in my life because of my exact current conditions.
Right now when I am forced to slow down and reduce my output because of my limited capacity, I can spend time with God purposefully learning my identity is as his precious child not as a high capacity output machine. I can develop thoughtful ways to articulate my character as he forms me to be more Christlike for the purpose of living in that truth – not just for the future outlets to pedal my message. I do have the blessing of a platform, and I take seriously the way I can steward encouragements, but I also hope you’ll hear my heart that this message today is more for me than for you. If you’re blessed by it, more glory to God, but my post today is about how my hope is firm in the solid rock of Jesus who loves me even when I’m turned down by a publishing agency because I don’t have a following of 20,000 views per post.
My dudes, I don’t want 20,000 views per post because that would statistically increase my online hate, and I have enough of that in my life. I just want to be closer to Jesus and to help others do the same. By the grace of God, I had multiple solid conversations this past week that helped people take a step closer to Jesus, and I am blessed beyond measure to have that kind of purposeful ministry output. This morning I sat with one of my youth leaders and shared a story about a kid I’ve journeyed with for the past nine years who has battled a lot of substance abuse and is getting clean and asking me to read the Bible to him (see paragraph 2 above). We talked about how she’s just half as far into the journey with some of her young people, and I shared a bit about where this kid was five years ago – it was not a great place. But his story isn’t over. He’s one of the names I carry close to my heart and pray for regularly because I want to see transformation happen in his life and for him to thrive.
By the grace of God I’ve stuck it out long enough in youth ministry to see the change in trajectory for some of these young people. There are still a lot who are in dark and hurting places, but I know their story isn’t over. I had a hard message from another young person this week who has felt pretty abandoned by church people and is floundering in whether or not she wants to stick it out with church, but she’s come to me to process the church hurt and have a conversation about what it means to follow Jesus still. Her story isn’t over either. Hope will not put me to shame as I pray for and talk to these young people about following Jesus. And for those with anxiety, we’ll keep testing out those messages to determine when the Holy Spirit does break through and give us direction – and when it comes, we’ll move.
you are loved