I was sitting on my bench by the river during my normal rest point in my walk yesterday, and I saw a rat. What kind of rivers was Spafford talking about in his famous hymn? Okay, but actually, if you know the story of this guy who wrote “It Is Well with My Soul,” you know his peace was one that surpasses understanding because his life sucked by human standards, and the second line emphasizes that.
Fun fact, my life also sucks by human standards. I’m standing by my prior iterations that I wouldn’t trade this life for any other.
Often when I’m walking, due to the physical demands on my disabled body, I can’t spend a lot of energy on the usual buzzing of thoughts in my head. As an Enneagram 5, I’m notoriously caught up in my head, and it’s an intentional shift to my body when I go on my walks. I usually use one of two centering statements to keep my mind at rest, and the one I focused on today was, “I step into peace.” Today as I sat on my bench thinking about that peace that I step into, I was struck by the precious gift of all the physical recovery I’ve seen in the past four years. I started out today’s walk with some of the best balance brace free that I’ve ever felt post paralysis; I ended with more weight on my arms to keep my finicky ankles from betraying me. Sometimes because the end of the walk is less than the start, I forget the ending point is still better than the first steps I took in the parallel bars back in REHAB. I also am quick to dismiss the distance I can cover regularly is far beyond the distance of the physiohalle which I celebrated with Alex just before my inpatient discharge.
I hope you’ll celebrate my current status with me while I forge ahead knowing that the faithfulness in the tiny daily improvements leads to these moments of seeing the grand distance I’ve covered in the years of this journey. With peace like a river, amidst the stormy sea billows, it is still well with my soul.
