The BFA yearbook came out today, and the title each year is “Phases.” I love that title. BFA is a phase of life for students at BFA and many of the staff. Over the past year and a half, I’ve had a phase of recovery and growth that I never could have anticipated. This fall was a really challenging phase as I returned to the classroom that I love so much with so many new struggles; this spring has been a new phase of confirmation for my love of teaching.
The recovery challenges have only changed or shifted, not disappeared, during the phase of this last year. I mentioned in my last post I had another flat tire on my wheelchair, and while the tube has been patched, I’ve still got some figuring out before the tires get replaced. According to the bike shop in town, the manufacturer of my tire will not produce any more until September… I think mine will last until then (and maybe I won’t be using a wheelchair at all come September). Mobility aide maintenance was not on my radar when I was first learning mobility again in REHAB.
I got my annual check up paperwork in the mail this week in preparation for spending a day at REHAB getting tested on all sorts of mobility and functional abilities. While I’m excited to show the doctors and therapists what I’ve learned to do, I’m also a little overwhelmed with the prospect of a full day of discovering limits. Sure they’re less than last year, but they are still greater than before my accident.
One of the hardest things to communicate to people is the balance between the pros and cons of my accident. Trust me, I have an incredible attitude. You don’t need to tell me to cheer up. In fact, please don’t; it’s insulting because I have an awesome attitude for someone who was paralyzed two weeks before her 25th birthday. I dealt with a lot of trauma in the months following my accident, and I’ve come out incredibly well through it, but I’m also preparing myself for the emotional return to America for the first time in two years – and the first time as a disabled person. I can’t express how excited I am to meet my newest nephew and see his big brother who has doubled in size since I left. There are not words to tell you my joy at my upcoming visit to Powells and all the coffee I will drink from Bella Espresso, Insomnia, Black Rock, Dutch Bros, Stumptown, and Longbottom. The important consideration to those anticipations are the unknown reaction my four year old nephew will give when he sees me sitting in a wheelchair for the first time and the emotional response I’ll have being unable to walk on the beach with my mocha from Bella Espresso (because who would drive to Cannon Beach and just get Insomnia coffee?).
This summer phase of my life is going to involve a lot of emotional processing in addition to the continued physical rigor. I’ve got three more sessions of physio here before I leave, and I’ll get a two week “break” in Colorado as I just practice exercises on my own before completing a week long intensive program in Oregon the first week of July.
I’m in a crazy phase of life right now – it seems like that’s my usual though. In the midst of this crazy time for me and many others, I still crave your prayers. Specifically, I’d like a miracle before I get on the plane in nine days – I’ve told a small number of people, but I’m praying for full healing of bathroom function before returning to America. Let’s present this ridiculous request to God with thanksgiving (I’m trying not to be anxious about this or anything else [Phil 2:6]). I’ve said this since day one of this incredible journey as those of you who’ve read my earliest updates know, my first and most important request hasn’t changed – pray that God, the one who is able to do more than I can ask or imagine, is glorified no matter what happens to me in this phase or any future phase of my life.
Oh, and I put a pretty picture up since I’m frequently reminded that I never post pictures. This week Cat came to visit me with her mom on the tail end of their vacation to Germany. I love her. She’s been with me through a lot of phases of my life, and I’m pretty grateful.
