I love my job. I won’t ever do anything to jeopardize my teaching position because it provides me with the unique opportunity to speak truth into the lives of teenagers who are asking deep questions. Sometimes, however, I’m still caught off guard when they take me up on the offer to share life – when they hunt me down in their study hall to share concerns about their relationships or when they show up on my doorstep after school to laugh with me or when they have dinner with me and discuss Doctor Who fan theories.
This is my real life, and I love it. I still have a pain in my butt, though. The physical one has diminished though lingers annoyingly. There is also the metaphorical one of not being able to aptly answer every existential question presented by my students. Life is complex. I’m relearning to walk while advancing my understanding of the character of a complex God who came to earth to have relationship with me. My life is more than just one facet or emotion. Over the course of this week, I laughed so hard that I cried when a student hilariously misused the word “impotent” for “impudent,” I had a heart wrenching conversation with a kid on the border of nihilism, and I managed an exhausting lap around the fire station with Cindy after a week of not walking.
When I sat back in my chair panting after the rigorous workout Thursday, Cindy was quick to tell me, “Don’t be discouraged,” because it is reasonable to see a set back after a week off. My walking this week felt like the walking I was doing six months or even a year ago, but Cindy reassured me it will only take me a couple weeks to regain the balance and stability I had before my minor butt injury.
At least once a day, I think about how wonderful it would be if God instantly restored my body to what it was created to be. It doesn’t change the reality of what I have right now. I also at least once a day think how incredibly blessed I am to have the opportunity to teach at a school with incredible students a curriculum that I absolutely love in an environment where I’m encouraged to care for students on a professional and personal level. Real life means being responsible with the ability level that God has given me for today while faithfully working to maintain and improve my physical health in conjunction with faithfully loving and teaching these students.
