My German choir is learning a rendition of the Charlie Chaplin song “Smile,” and I really can’t stop smiling at the cute German accents pronouncing the soft “ch” in “aching” when they forget the sound is different in the English word. I really needed the reminder this week to smile – a coworker caught me coming into the office with something probably closer to a grimace and joked, “You dropped something,” as I wheeled past. “What?” I asked only to laugh when he replied, “Your smile.”
I like to think I usually have a smile on, but I did have several people comment this week on the lack thereof. I seemed to be wearing some tension on my face that I couldn’t hide. I honestly did have a lot to get done this week with the change of semester – finals to grade, a whole quarter to plan, an entire day of PD meetings, the timing of the DC meeting that requires me to leave my house at 7am every other week, a new class schedule that means I spend two to three hours longer at school than last semester. I’m wiped as I wind down tonight, and I’m looking forward to the homemade cheesecake reward an alumni is bringing me tomorrow.
Yes, there were a lot of stresses and “aching” and “heart breaking” moments, but I still want to smile. I want to smile through the crying, sure, but I also see the sunshine in a lot of things that happened this week as well. I get to go to choir and interact with these amazing German women who still love me despite my terrible language skills (and I love them all the more for their precious pronunciation of English lyrics). I also had a senior ask me to do an independent study with him going through the Bible study methods course I took in college because he wants to develop his engagement with Scriptures and learn to love Jesus better and become a better role model to the middle school kids who look up to him. Today, I listened to a different senior describe how she was growing in her faith as part of preparation I helped her do to prepare for a scholarship interview. Two other seniors came over to help clean my house after school and peppered me with theology questions related to what they’d been reading in their personal devotions, and I was reminded yet again of how much I love my job. I was stretched out on my couch after a full day at school and needed to give my legs a break from my chair, and my muscles were still aching from the intense floor workout Anja took me through two days ago, but I loved the chance to hear the interest in understanding how we differentiate between David’s laments and messianic prophecies in the psalms.
It’s not hard to smile in moments like that. And honestly, it wasn’t hard to smile when at the start of my session Wednesday, Anja told me, “Don’t forget that I like you.” There was a big grin on my face when I replied, “I’m ready.” She helped me onto the floor and worked me through a series of exercises that would have been unimaginable over three years ago when she started working with me. I’m still super weak, but she’s targeting the muscles that need to grow to improve my stability when I’m walking. As I mentioned before, I’m still feeling the muscle aching, but I’m smiling knowing that those muscles are firing and sending pain signals to my brain – something I had no guarantee of post injury.
I almost forgot one more reason to smile – I have an amazing birthday trip planned for this next weekend! Those of you following my story for over a year know I make an annual event for people to pray with me for five specific requests each year, and you can find the Facebook event linked here. I might be late posting next week, but I promise I’ll be celebrating well with some of my best friends from across my life and visiting a new city.
