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Not everyday can be a good day, but the past two weeks have had some reeeeeeally good days for me. I have been so loved, encouraged, celebrated, and supported by family and friends close and continents away. I also had to work through some difficult stuff, explored new challenges in supporting young people, and got a huge grief trigger slapped in the middle of my Thursday. Fun times.

But actually, I think it’s important to emphasise that while I share the highlights on the internet, there’s a layer that’s private and not publicly posted.

So from that place of tension, I’ll write about how I spent two hours of my Saturday explaining the American elections of 1796 and 1800 to my friend Hannah. She saw two people wearing hats while we hung out; that was definitely more interesting than my impromptu history lesson through musical memes of modern politicians she didn’t recognise…

I’d texted Hannah on Thursday after the weird grief trigger, and she told me some great counselling student advice – something along the lines of “feelings are okay.” Which, gross, I don’t love. But it was true nonetheless. Friday was full of highs and lows on its own, so Hannah offered to hang out and let me drink hot chocolate while she ate cheesecake at the mall. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up with this kind of life, but I’m genuinely grateful that Hannah just gave me the option to decompress, and we found a place with tasty treats and laughed loudly in public while I over-explained American election memes, but before I could even get from Lin Manuel-Miranda to Taylor Swift dubbed ones, she noticed two people wearing hats.

“Look, there are two people wearing hats,” she told me.

I looked.

I didn’t see them, but I kept looking, and then we burst out laughing as we realised how ridiculous her statement was.

I could over-explain for you my next jump, but I’ll just let you try to make the connection on your own.

While Hannah and I hung out, we also saw two of the young adults from our church walking by. Christchurch is a lot bigger than Kandern, but hanging out at the mall down the street means I’ll inevitably see people from church. Having worked extra hours the past two weeks, I was definitely off duty, but in another sense, I’m always on duty with this role. I’m always on duty as a former teacher for other young adults as a text last Sunday reminded me. Two of my HBR boys were staying up all night to make the most of their mini reunion together, and they decided one of the most important things they wanted to do together was call me. I ended up on a call with them until I think 3am their time. One of them asked me to call him later in the week after he’d had a chance to get some more sleep to have a deeper conversation with me.

We caught up on Thursday – Thursdays are always such good days for me – and he shared some struggles and celebrations with me. We’ve come a long way from him asking to spend his lunch hour revising his English essays with me in Year 9. He invited me to his wedding knowing that the time and money required makes it super unlikely, but I genuinely love that I still made the guest list. I entered his life as a teacher, and somehow I’ve kept a spot in his life as a cheerleader in his faith journey.

Some people might call it a pastoral role, but I’m not really concerned with the titles. He refers to me as Queen.

When Hannah told me to look at the two people wearing hats at the mall, all I saw was a dude wearing a beanie – plus me wearing a beanie in a mirror. But she was talking about the people further away who were wearing paper circlets with fun ears attached. It might be a bit of a stretch to call them hats, but it was more about her seeing something interesting and sharing it with me. Life on life stuff like that is funny. Funny-strange and funny-hilarious. My HBR boys wanted to share life with me when they asked me to call while they were together. I got to keep a connection through the phone, and I treasure the way that I can still be in their lives encouraging and praying for these young adults who I met as angsty teenagers. Now as angsty young men, I can laugh or cry with them in a different role in life.

The youth pastor role here grants me a lot of hangout time with young adults, and I see so many parallels with the former students who I keep up with. They are all beautiful humans journeying through life; most of them are actively looking for how they can honour God better with their lives. I’m grateful to have so many inspirational young adults around me while I keep looking for how I can honour God better with my life even as I’m well out of the “young” part of adulthood.