When I was student teaching, I got to read the book Wonder aloud with a class of rambunctious seventh graders. That is a powerful text, and I was so excited to hear it was made into a movie. Since I was away the weekend it played at the Kandern theater, I jumped at the chance to watch it at the Bryans this week during our normal Taco Tuesday dinner. For those unfamiliar with the plot, it revolves around a young boy who has complicated medical conditions that leave him physically deformed. He has a beautiful soul that everyone recognizes by the end, but it’s a narrative thick with body image and social struggles.
My own narrative could be told through body image and social struggles. I was reflecting a lot on my body this week and the relationship I have with it came up multiple times as I listened to various podcasts. As I was having coffee with my friend Mary Lou on Thursday, I confessed that I’ve struggled with asking people to be involved in my life partly because of not wanting to be a burden and partly because of my own social anxiety issues. We had a great time laughing about the ridiculous notion that I’m a burden just because I have a physical disability; it was super good for my soul to remember that we’re all needy in our own way and the body of Christ exists to help others.
With that encouragement, I texted Cindy and scheduled a walk for Friday. When she arrived, I was prepared to take the sticks out and test how far I could make it with her bringing the wheelchair.
“You don’t really need that,” she suggested.
With a little prodding, I ventured out of my house holding just Cindy’s hand with her supporting my left arm and walked the hundred meters or so to the benches across the Hieber parking lot. No braces either. We sat down and chatted with some other friends who happened to be walking by which gave me a chance to recover my strength for the walk back. I managed the long way around the fire house and was elated with my exhausted body that I’d managed the whole distance with no sticks at all and only Cindy’s support on one side.
Buoyed by the success of Friday, I set out with my sticks and no braces on Saturday and managed to make it to the bench just past the school before resting and walking back. I was pretty amazed with myself. My body was doing more than I expected. Don’t get me wrong – it was really, really tough, but I was doing it.
Sunday I’d planned an extra challenge by asking for a ride to the sunrise vigil service the Anglican church was having at the munster in Basel. Nigel and Helen were driving in and agreed to cart me along with my wheelchair if my leg spasms were manageable at five in the morning. Aside from my right foot trying to shake itself out of my brace a dozen times at different points in the service, it went swimmingly. My feet even felt settled enough after a doze in the morning that I headed out for another victory lap to the bench beyond Hieber and back.
I took it pretty easy through the rest of the afternoon with reading and relaxing and a nice chat with an alumni. In all honesty, I’m still in wonder at what my body accomplished this weekend. I’ve got another week off of school, and I hope I’ll be able to continue to amaze myself and share new feats with you next week.
