Blog

I’m squeezing this in between packing and prep for Friday night to schedule the post on time for the week, and I’m not totally sure how this weekend will go. I’ve got such an amazing job though where I get to make space for young people to flourish and be a part of the ongoing discipleship of youth and young adults and even a few older adults who have this amazing heart for service that want to disciple others as they live wholeheartedly for Jesus.

One of the unexpected highlights of my week was the chance to show up for a young person in crisis that led to a later conversation about baptism and desire to be connected into the community of Jesus followers. The details don’t belong on the internet, but I want you to know how humbled I feel to be invited into these stories. Because I said yes to an inconvenience, to a little discomfort, but when I look at the series of decisions to say yes to Jesus over the past few decades of my life, it led to this interaction that excites me so much.

Who am I to be privileged with these moments of vulnerability? Thank you, Jesus, that I can be used when I’m willing to be inconvenienced.

When I was in the hospital for five months, people who barely knew me made a roster for me to have visitors so I wouldn’t feel lonely and afraid. They went out of their way to be inconvenienced for my emotional support. Over the years in Germany, countless people inconvenienced themselves to give me rides to physiotherapy. In the first Covid lockdown when I was categorised as high-risk, one friend volunteered to do all my pharmacy and grocery pick ups so I could stay safe. That was wildly inconvenient as she was battling her own personal issues, but she went out of her way for me. One of my youth leaders added me as a stop on her way home from youth group and way to church on Sundays so I could save money on two less taxi rides a week in this temporary housing situation.

My list could go on for hours of reading material if I documented every way I know people inconvenienced themselves for me – and didn’t keep an account, didn’t hold it against me, didn’t do it on any conditions.

As a Jesus follower, I’m called to live that way. I’ve seen my capacity stretch like I talked about last week, but that also doesn’t mean I can do everything. I’ve seen how God stretches me according to his call. To give sacrificially in his name not at my convenience, but also not on a shame induced path towards burnout. There’s a whole different heart behind my giving when it’s inconvenient to me, and I can still protect the margin God gives me in order to live holistically well and not burnout.

Matt and I have talked a lot lately about battling the idol of self care that a lot of the people we disciple cling to. This is so delicate to learn the way we can give sacrificially from a mindset of God’s abundance rather than bitterly holding onto our resources with a scarcity mindset but also not being so undiscerning that we’re taken advantage of or barrel into emotional depletion and burnout. It’s absolutely a case by case thing as I work with such a range of people who I see fluctuate along this spectrum of service. Just like my Pain Olympics post a couple of weeks ago, it’s not about comparison to who else is giving more, but what is God calling me to give right now, and am I offering it open handedly or with resistance?

So final shout out to the crew who are willing to be inconvenienced for me today and tomorrow and a little bit into the next week as I move and settle into this next interim place. I’m grateful you’re not keeping score, but I hope I’m ready to be inconvenienced for the next person when the time comes.