When I was a kid, there was a story that I loved about a little mouse in the woods in the winter who found an empty glove to crawl into during a snowstorm and then a whole host of animals ask for room. A bear crawls in when the group makes space, and even though they keep thinking it’s tight and full, they always shuffle and share when someone asks for help. Then a cricket shows up and barges in with no request and the whole thing falls apart. Layers of lessons in there, but the one I’ve been pondering lately is the human misconception of scarcity.
God always has enough, and I’ve found that I’ve made it this far not at all because I had capacity, but because God gave me enough to make it through out of his abundance.
I signed a lease Friday on a place that’s not ideal, but it’ll be safe and affordable for the next year. God of abundance isn’t much bothered by the fact that I was stressing the past two months because something did come up before my money ran out at this place. I’m on camp this weekend with a tiny group of juniors and an unheard of 1-1 ratio of leaders that might look like a disappointment, but I can’t help but think God of abundance has a plan for the kid who messaged me this week that she’s dealing with some heavy stuff and was worried about going on camp if it meant she’d be around too many people. I spent all day Thursday at a mental health first aid refresher course, and although my body tenses up when I notice high notification numbers and I missed four calls, half a dozen texts, and several camp related time sensitive emails due to the piling up of move/lease/utility emails piling up in my inbox, God of abundance helped me lock in to clear what I needed to that night and the next morning.
One of the unexpected bears I fit into the glove this week was an unexpected catch up with Cayle who remains one of the most delightful humans in my life. I believe this year we officially cross over into the point where she can say she’s known me over half her life, and I love that she’s decided to keep me. We’ve had lots of quality talks about spiritual formation over the years, and we were chatting about rhythms of rest for each of us as high achieving neurodivergent women in ministry roles because, obvi, and we were talking about the purposeful need for play. By the grace of God we have this beautiful little overlap in our ideas of play, and she’s going to have some fun with me on a creative endeavour over the next few weeks or months at least.
Trust me, my life does not have room for one more thing, but God of abundance actually wants me to thrive, and I’m not adding anything new right now. I’m evaluating how I use my time to glorify God, and I’m going to give my best on this camp which is incredibly hard for me as all camps are, and then I’m going to move next week, and then I’ll see that life is not easy, but I love Jesus so much for all the fullness in my life, and I will also learn from some of the mistakes of this round of camp and how I can do better after I take a purposeful break because I’m a human who God of abundance designed to best function in rhythms of rest.
One little note on that cricket who forced everyone else out into the cold related to my God of abundance metaphor: any analogy taken to its extreme will lead to heresy. I’m trying to make a point about how God expands my little offering to be so much more than I thought it could, and I’m very aware of my limited capacity and want to celebrate the ways that God has still been able to use me when I didn’t think I had much to give. I also want to recognise how excited I am for the week after next where my brain actually settles and closes the tabs on camp and housing for a moment to reevaluate what God has for me next.
