Bless Me

My father,

My grandfather,

My grandfather’s concubine

They said Your Name after encounters with different aspects of you:

The God who Sees, who Provides, who Is Faithful

Bless me

My brother didn’t understand what he gave me

I didn’t understand what I stole

But I wanted more of you

Bless me

My uncle didn’t know you but he could recognize you at work

He gave me love and money

But I wanted more

Bless me

Children are a joy and they multiply in my home like sheep

A nation comes from me

Who will they be

Bless me

All this good from the worldly things isn’t enough

I want to encounter you

Bless me

“Blessed to be a blessing”

You promised that before

This abundance isn’t enough

I want to share more

Bless me

I’ll fight you here, but not just for me

The wrestling match is an invitation

I won’t let go tonight until you

Bless me

The story starts where I thought it would end

The sun comes up and I’m limping again

I won’t forget how you continue to

Bless me

I won’t settle for less than intimacy

With a God who gives over abundantly

Now that I’ve seen that I’m ready to share how you

Bless me

It looks different than before

Because you actually love me more

You taught me generosity when you

Bless me

I’m still in brokenness

And you don’t love someone less

When I demand you

Bless me

There’s space for the world to thrive

We don’t have to barely survive

I can keep seeking you

LORD, bless me

I spent a lot of time Wednesday evening praying for a person who represents a lot of hurt in my life – he’s hurt people I care about, strongly offended me, and is closely associated with others who’ve deeply hurt me and some of the closest people to me. We aren’t exactly friends. But I couldn’t shake that God was asking me to pray for him and expect radical transformation in his life. I woke up at 3am and felt like God was wrestling with him that night. I prayed for three hours and wrote this poem.

It’s about Jacob. It’s about this guy. It’s about me. It’s about a God who is bigger than my theology and tells me to ask for miraculous heart change in people who don’t come across as kind or caring to me. It’s about stepping out in faith to let God keep transforming my heart to love him and love others better and to receive good gifts that Jesus says he wants to give me – blessings beyond what I could ask or imagine.

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