Create in Me

All those Rend Collective haters can leave this post right now.

Last Thursday was a good day, and I didn’t actually listen to Rend Collective that day, but I blasted “What Else Can I Do?” from the Encanto soundtrack through the house as I played with acrylic paint and ate chocolate and generally had a good day.

After a lovely day to myself, I headed out to the botanical gardens with takeaways and two of my new friends here to watch a comedic family friendly open air interpretation of The Odessey in the evening. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. There was also an adorable duckling who stole the show as he waddled through the audience.

The next day I went out to coffee with Ruby and we were talking about how excited I was about the canvas Alicia had left for me to paint on Thursday. Then we got excited about collaborating on other projects and creative endeavours. I was sharing with her about some of my past ones, and she and I came up with a really fun way to engage with the Psalms through graphic arts and poetry. Multiple conversations in the past weeks have encouraged me to think about how I’m using my gifts, telling my story, and engaging others in kingdom conversations.

This Rend Collective song repeats “Create in me a work of art / create in me a miracle,” and how can those lines not resonate with me as I think about the unfolding of my healing in the past ten years and the way that I want to celebrate that. I’m unbelievably pleased with the painting I made, but I’m also reinvigorated to finish well the memoir I started five years ago. I reopened my draft a couple of weeks ago, and I’m nearly done with my first round of revisions.

As I’m living in the reality of post ten year anniversary, I’ve also had multiple conversations related to the loose ends of my story. I’ve written before about the weirdness of living in the middle of the story, but particularly as I think about publishing a version of my story that lacks resolution, I’ve been encouraged by the value I can offer in the vulnerability of not knowing the end.

The last ten days held loads in my life, and I’m choosing to keep a few things near to my heart and off the internet, but I’m encouraged to know that what I do share openly can be used to glorify God just like my number one annual prayer request.

I’ll post my birthday prayer requests again next week, and I’ll apologise again for the lack of photographic evidence of my exciting life as my post will come after getting my next tattoo.

So why the Rend Collective title for this post? I’m crafting and creating and being changed into something new. The song repeats “you’re not finished with me yet” over and over again, and I hold onto that truth as I watch for the miracle in my life. One of my friends gave me an encouragement last week related to the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. She reminded me that the disciples picked up twelve baskets full of leftovers after that miracle. The miracles of Jesus have leftovers they are so awesome; and the leftovers are just as awesome as the original miracle. I follow a God of abundance who is giving more than I can ask or imagine, so I’ll bring those five big requests and keep my eyes and arms open to receive the rest.

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