Livin’ on a Prayer

A massive answer to prayer or miracle depending on how you view it: despite all odds, reputation, and records, my American insurance came through this past week and finally paid my wheelchair bill.

Thank you for believing in miracles with me, praying for me, and celebrating alongside me.

I have no reason not to give God credit for this as I know so many people prayed along with me, but I also read three more books on prayer this week, and crossed over the 365 day mark in my weird prayer adventure. I’m still journeying with God on this one because I’ve seen numerous prayers answered this past year, but there is no evidence I can see of several other prayers making any progress or having miraculous responses. In so many respects, I’m living on a prayer as I beg God for my body to function increasingly better while partnering with God and caring for my body well.

This bladder infection is certainly a distraction from my focus on walking, but it’s a new way to show myself compassion as I fight for health on my insides. It’s also a reminder that while I have this wheelchair – a big answer to prayer – we’re not to the finish line in my journey. I’m halfway there, if you will.

See, I fought for eleven months to get the wheelchair approved, fitted, ordered, and paid for. I received a prescription for new braces at the same time – I haven’t even begun that fight yet. I’ll be going in for my Jahreskontrolle in a couple weeks, and my plan is to talk to my doctor about the progresses and ask for another prescription to get the braces. This whole ordeal will begin again as I ask my insurance to pre-approve them. That will come after I send them bills for my Jahreskontrolle and my next round of botox injections which will include a cycle of antibiotics. You can check my archive for stories of how much I love antibiotics (and how many times I almost vomited in public places between here and Berlin).

So here I am, halfway there, still living fully on this prayer: pray that God is glorified – and it’d be nice if I could walk again too. That was my request day one, and I’m asking you to join me today – seven and a half years later – in that same request. I still believe God can miraculously heal my body. I’m a miracle in progress right now. For those who haven’t heard, I miraculously wiggled a toe 347 days post paralysis, I walked into the surgeon’s office one year post her bold “I make no promises of you ever walking again” statement, and traveled to a dozen different countries with a pretty inconvenient disability. The disability doesn’t define me, so I’m happy to ask God to be glorified in my body with or without the nerve damage. It would be absurd to celebrate nerve damage; I celebrate God at work in my body despite the nerve damage.

Let’s not get confused. Jesus came to give life – to the fullest. I have a full and beautiful life with this wheelchair – despite the wheelchair. But I will never stop asking for God to be glorified in the full health and restoration of my body. Live with me on this prayer; I won’t give up when I’m only halfway there.

After the wheelchair was paid for, I got a bonus blessing as a wild sun-shower brought a double rainbow (it’s turning into a triple rainbow) across the Kandern sky. In fact, it rested perfectly over my house, and I had a blast sobbing decade old meme jokes. But the rainbow also represents God’s promise. God doesn’t forget his promises, and God has promised good to me. I celebrate that as I ask for more. God answers every prayer with good – even if it isn’t how I expect.

Lord, come quickly.

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