“I go to seek a Great Perhaps” is a much quoted line attributed as possibly the last words of the poet Francois Rabelais and coopted by John Green’s protagonist in his debut novel Looking For Alaska. The idea in the novel is that we best not wait until our dying breath to find the wonders in the world. I live similarly, though I’m anticipating great wonders beyond this world as well.
However, I am fortunate to live an amazing life in Europe where I’m gifted with a job I love and the opportunity to have a quality of life as a disabled woman far beyond what is available in other countries. My parents came to visit and have seen through this week several of the ways in which I’ve adapted to my ability level living independently here but having vastly improved physically since they last saw me two years ago. Some of the little things I do are really huge wonders with my initial diagnosis. On Tuesday, we walked across the street to have dinner with my neighbors. It’s a simple enough task for most of you, but I managed it at a reasonable pace with my sticks and braces that is mind blowing for the condition I was in even just a year ago.
Yesterday Anja worked on relaxing my testy right ankle before we tried out a few barefoot steps while I held her hands. I was nervous about the leg spasms that the overloaded nerves on the bottom of my foot triggered in response, but I’m so delighted that I can still try new things with my physio and can see tangible improvements no matter how slowly they come. Today I showed off my stair skills as my parents and I were invited over to my old neighbor’s home for lunch. I commented to Hans as he followed me up the stairs that I was already a whole lot faster than when I’d visited last just a few weeks before for Gundi’s birthday.
There are more good things ahead, and I’m so excited for them. I’m posting a little early because I’m still in search of that Great Perhaps – perhaps I’ll stand up and walk down a hallway in St. Augustine’s Monastery, the spiritual home of Martin Luther, when my parents and I visit this weekend. Or perhaps I’ll take a few steps on my own up a staircase in Gaudi’s cathedral when we visit Barcelona next week. There are loads of possibilities, but I have to have faith to keep moving towards the next step in my recovery. Whatever the perhaps, I crave your prayers and encouragement through a for certain very full week with lots of travel for me. I’ll give a detailed report next week – perhaps with miracles involved.
