Sometimes I encounter things in the world that were clearly made without the consideration of disabled people. Sometimes drunk uni students leave heavy scooters blocking the entire footpath. I recognise a measure of inconvenience must be faced when I go outside my door. But I’ll be honest, I expect to at least make it to the bush at the end of the ramp before facing the harsh inaccessible realities.
I was really annoyed with the roofers who didn’t even bother to knock and tell me they were setting up a ladder at the end of my ramp the other day. I was at my desk and hadn’t noticed it until they were on the roof, and I was honestly livid. The last time they came, they blocked my path down the driveway, and I was like, “Hey before you get too stuck in, I’m needing to leave soon,” and they were like, “It’ll be five minutes.” I had to sit in front of their van waiting for them to pull out fifteen minutes later when my ride came to pick me up.
There was literally nothing I could do in this situation but thank God that I didn’t need to go anywhere and that there was no emergency situation where I needed to get out.
This is my life though. The day I was leaving for America, they’d put up scaffolding that also blocked my path out of the house but said their project would be done in a week (it was still there when I got home three weeks later). This is my life though.
I don’t have any other options. I’ve been given one precious shot at living, and I’m going to make the most of it. Like last week, I have a list of annoyances from my disability (and I hope this picture illustrates that annoyance is an understatement for this level of disregard for my dignity and disruption to my plans) in addition to some complicated ministry stuff and yet another disappointing house viewing. Like last week, I’m going to turn my attention to the good.
Thursday afternoon, I had a really enriching conversation with my friend Hannah about how God speaks to us, and I loved the chance to wrestle with her over hard conversations we’ve had with the Lord. Friday night, friends from Word of Life came and shared the Gospel while our youth group kids got to play on their inflatables. Saturday and Sunday, I had the gift of hearing Brad Carr communicate rich content he’s studied and prayed over.
Guys, I’m super ready to have a place that’s genuinely accessible. A place where I don’t have to worry about the piling up of inconveniences and the roughing it to get by in all the “little” ways that are a massive mountain of tiny pebbles. I’m super ready to not have to consider the impact the spasms have on my sleep and how they unexpectedly disrupt or slow down my routine. I’m super ready to not have the financial impact of paying for things an able bodied person wouldn’t need. I’m super ready to see breakthrough in the lives of my young people who are hurting. I’m super ready for breakthrough in my own groaning for things. This is my life though.
I’m super ready for what’s next.
I say that fully aware that I don’t get to force God’s hand. I get to give my life to him. I choose, like Peter, to keep following the one who has the words of eternal life.
“But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.”
(Psalm 13:5-6)
